Connecting with your Teenager

Connecting with teenagers can be an art! Sometimes, it just happens! Other times, it is hard to do! What I do know is that it takes some skill, good timing and a lot of care! The BEST Tip I know for quality connections with teenagers may surprise you! It is simple, but it does take time and some effort. Sitting on your teenager's bed at night, lights off, asking them about their day, is a GREAT way to show you are willing to listen and that you care about what they have to say. To do this, you may have to record your favorite show, put down your reading material and be ready to enter into your teen's world!

If you have already established this night time ritual with your child when he or she they was younger, it is easy to continue. If not, I highly recommend you start now! This is a great ritual for all parents who have kids of any age! It is never too late to start this great habit!

So, you're sitting there with your teen in the dark...now what? Remember, you're connecting. You're on the same team. You want to see life through your teenager's point of view. When you do take the time, you will understand them better and you'll know better what they need.

Caution: Watch out for falling into the temptation of evaluating, even judging what they say. LISTENING to understand someone's heart takes concentration. Listening without interrupting (which by the way is one of the top complaints I hear in my therapy office, by people of all ages...) is a gift in and of itself! Listen, listen and listen some more! This helps your teenager feel that you "know" them.

What next? Later in the week, your night conversations will help you know what areas to bring up in conversation. Actively listening to our teens helps us to know what areas of life we should concentrate on. You will then be able to think of thought provoking questions to ask them whenever the opportunity presents itself. This helps us in our job as parents. One aspect of parenting is to mentor our kids. Believe it or not, our teenagers are looking for direction. Other influences in society will be happy to provide it if there is a void. Providing direction is a key part of our job. We just have to be intentional about connecting and guiding!

Enjoy those late night chats!

Got Kids?

Connecting with your kids can be fun! Sit down with your kids, grab a sheet of paper and aks them to tell you their favorite things to do one on one with you. Next, ask them to tell you their favorite things to do as a family. After you write them down, post them on your fridge and look at them regularly. Remember to add ways to connect that are free! You could even add a divide your list by how much time you have. For example, a quick things or things that take more time could be divided up. Baking or cooking together, playing a board game, going for a bike ride or walk together are fun and free. Go enjoy your kids!!

Marriage Tip

Think of two great qualities about your spouse and think about them all day!

Busy, Busy, Busy

"How are you?" "Busy!" Sound familiar? We are all on the run...it seems everyone I know has an overloaded calendar! The thing is, the calendar is filled with a lot of great things and worhwhile activities on it! If you're a Type A Personality, then you probably love being busy. If feels great to get a lot accomplished! But what happens over time? You know, that feeling when you finally sit down on the couch, and you don't want to get up. You may find yourself interupted by that annoying alarm clock, knowing you are not fully rested. You also may find your neck and back are sore, and you have a headache. You may even wonder, when do I have time for myself? If you feel stressed out, irritable or exhausted you may be on your way to "brownout" One of the latest terms to describe fatigue and a lack of focus and productivity is called "brownout". Basically, this is the stage before you get to full "burnout"!

Whether you are burned out, browned out or just plain stressed out, you need to listen to your body! The physical body needs rest, the mind needs rejuvenation! We will benefit so much from taking time out to take care of ourselves! In honor of mother's day, I want to thank moms everywhere for all they do that is repetitive, boring and receives no thank-you's! Remember, that to take care of others we need to take care of ourselves! What are you going to do today, to slow down, breathe deeply and relax? Put yourself and a fun activity that will charge your batteries on your calendar today!

For more tips on rejuvenating yourself in the middle of your busy schedule, join us Thursday, May 6 at 7 pm for a workshop that will help you live with a balanced lifestyle!
Be well!
Susan