The One-Minute Makeover For Women
...tips for creating a more beautiful you from the inside out!
As women, we are constantly bombarded by messages from society,especially the media to focus on our exterior image. Young women know how to apply make-up at an early age. Women of all ages spend a lot of their time in front of a mirror, changing clothes, doing hair and applying make-up. Some of us are even obsessing over things like our weight, our image and how we can change how we look for the better. We truly believe that we will be happier if we look a certain way. Too often, our focus is in the wrong place. The question we need to ask is, “How much time are we spending on our looks, our weight and our image?” Are runway models or cover girls happier than the average woman? The research says “NO”! In fact, many of the most beautiful women are self-conscious over their perceived “flaws” and many choose to undergo plastic surgery. We need to be aware of how actors and models in the media are “airbrushed” and altered to present an unattainable image.
So, what are we as women to do? Our one-minute makeover will remind us what we can do to build contentment and gratefulness in our lives. One easy thing we must do everyday is to CHOOSE how we think! What are you dwelling on when you are getting dressed or putting on makeup? What are you saying to yourself when you look in the mirror? GOOD NEWS! We can decide what to think about and concentrate on throughout the day. Even more helpful, is to plan right now what attitude you will have when you look in the mirror!
The first step is to be aware of how you are talking to yourself. Most women, young and old, confess to me they are thinking, “You are so ugly…fat..”. You know those thought, “If only, my thighs were thinner…” or “If I had _______, I would be happier!”
The second step is to accept what you cannot change about yourself. Your genetics have resulted in every woman being created uniquely…no two are the same! If you are finding yourself wanting to fit in by looking like everyone else, remember, you are special! So, celebrate the differences. Look for the beauty in others and in yourself!
The third step is to alter what you can. We will spend time caring for our bodies, are you taking care of yourself? If you have been depressed maybe you need to shower and get dressed everyday even if you have nowhere to go. You have to get dressed, are you choosing colors in your wardrobe that complement your skin tone, hair and eye color? Do you need to lose weight? The temptation is to focus on the scale or food. You know this rarely works for the long term. So, instead, focus on the health of your body, not the attractiveness. Next, choose your self-talk carefully! Are you planning on going bathing suit shopping? Plan now what you will say to yourself! You could say, this bathing suit color is fun to wear. This bathing suit fits my body shape the best, so I’ll get it. When you’re getting dressed you could say, “This outfit works!” Remember, our focus is key! Are we really dressing for others? We help ourselves fight against becoming self-absorbed, self-consciousness and selfish, by focusing on others. When getting ready, we can focus on the fun we will have with our friends, being thankful for the friends and family members we are blessed to have in our lives. We could say, “I’m ready to spend some time with______”.
The amount of time we spend on thinking through and planning our self-talk will be well worth the effort! Many times, this is difficult, especially if we have long-standing habits of thinking negative, condemning thoughts. The messages you have been given throughout your life will have a major impact on your thought life. If you are young, you are laying down habits that will last a lifetime. If you are older, your thoughts are impacting all of your attitudes about life.
Often, negative thoughts are very hard to change on our own. This is when meeting with a therapist can help you to make these changes more quickly and in a way that will have lasting effects. If you are feeling bad about yourself, or even depressed, anxious about how you look, it might be time for you to call us at Lifetime. Remember, an internal makeover ALWAYS impacts how you feel, for the better! It’s worth the time, energy and investment you put into the inner YOU!
Be inspired!
Susan Garrison, MSW, LCSW
Friday, May 14, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Connecting with your Teenager
Connecting with teenagers can be an art! Sometimes, it just happens! Other times, it is hard to do! What I do know is that it takes some skill, good timing and a lot of care! The BEST Tip I know for quality connections with teenagers may surprise you! It is simple, but it does take time and some effort. Sitting on your teenager's bed at night, lights off, asking them about their day, is a GREAT way to show you are willing to listen and that you care about what they have to say. To do this, you may have to record your favorite show, put down your reading material and be ready to enter into your teen's world!
If you have already established this night time ritual with your child when he or she they was younger, it is easy to continue. If not, I highly recommend you start now! This is a great ritual for all parents who have kids of any age! It is never too late to start this great habit!
So, you're sitting there with your teen in the dark...now what? Remember, you're connecting. You're on the same team. You want to see life through your teenager's point of view. When you do take the time, you will understand them better and you'll know better what they need.
Caution: Watch out for falling into the temptation of evaluating, even judging what they say. LISTENING to understand someone's heart takes concentration. Listening without interrupting (which by the way is one of the top complaints I hear in my therapy office, by people of all ages...) is a gift in and of itself! Listen, listen and listen some more! This helps your teenager feel that you "know" them.
What next? Later in the week, your night conversations will help you know what areas to bring up in conversation. Actively listening to our teens helps us to know what areas of life we should concentrate on. You will then be able to think of thought provoking questions to ask them whenever the opportunity presents itself. This helps us in our job as parents. One aspect of parenting is to mentor our kids. Believe it or not, our teenagers are looking for direction. Other influences in society will be happy to provide it if there is a void. Providing direction is a key part of our job. We just have to be intentional about connecting and guiding!
Enjoy those late night chats!
If you have already established this night time ritual with your child when he or she they was younger, it is easy to continue. If not, I highly recommend you start now! This is a great ritual for all parents who have kids of any age! It is never too late to start this great habit!
So, you're sitting there with your teen in the dark...now what? Remember, you're connecting. You're on the same team. You want to see life through your teenager's point of view. When you do take the time, you will understand them better and you'll know better what they need.
Caution: Watch out for falling into the temptation of evaluating, even judging what they say. LISTENING to understand someone's heart takes concentration. Listening without interrupting (which by the way is one of the top complaints I hear in my therapy office, by people of all ages...) is a gift in and of itself! Listen, listen and listen some more! This helps your teenager feel that you "know" them.
What next? Later in the week, your night conversations will help you know what areas to bring up in conversation. Actively listening to our teens helps us to know what areas of life we should concentrate on. You will then be able to think of thought provoking questions to ask them whenever the opportunity presents itself. This helps us in our job as parents. One aspect of parenting is to mentor our kids. Believe it or not, our teenagers are looking for direction. Other influences in society will be happy to provide it if there is a void. Providing direction is a key part of our job. We just have to be intentional about connecting and guiding!
Enjoy those late night chats!
Got Kids?
Connecting with your kids can be fun! Sit down with your kids, grab a sheet of paper and aks them to tell you their favorite things to do one on one with you. Next, ask them to tell you their favorite things to do as a family. After you write them down, post them on your fridge and look at them regularly. Remember to add ways to connect that are free! You could even add a divide your list by how much time you have. For example, a quick things or things that take more time could be divided up. Baking or cooking together, playing a board game, going for a bike ride or walk together are fun and free. Go enjoy your kids!!
Busy, Busy, Busy
"How are you?" "Busy!" Sound familiar? We are all on the run...it seems everyone I know has an overloaded calendar! The thing is, the calendar is filled with a lot of great things and worhwhile activities on it! If you're a Type A Personality, then you probably love being busy. If feels great to get a lot accomplished! But what happens over time? You know, that feeling when you finally sit down on the couch, and you don't want to get up. You may find yourself interupted by that annoying alarm clock, knowing you are not fully rested. You also may find your neck and back are sore, and you have a headache. You may even wonder, when do I have time for myself? If you feel stressed out, irritable or exhausted you may be on your way to "brownout" One of the latest terms to describe fatigue and a lack of focus and productivity is called "brownout". Basically, this is the stage before you get to full "burnout"!
Whether you are burned out, browned out or just plain stressed out, you need to listen to your body! The physical body needs rest, the mind needs rejuvenation! We will benefit so much from taking time out to take care of ourselves! In honor of mother's day, I want to thank moms everywhere for all they do that is repetitive, boring and receives no thank-you's! Remember, that to take care of others we need to take care of ourselves! What are you going to do today, to slow down, breathe deeply and relax? Put yourself and a fun activity that will charge your batteries on your calendar today!
For more tips on rejuvenating yourself in the middle of your busy schedule, join us Thursday, May 6 at 7 pm for a workshop that will help you live with a balanced lifestyle!
Be well!
Susan
Whether you are burned out, browned out or just plain stressed out, you need to listen to your body! The physical body needs rest, the mind needs rejuvenation! We will benefit so much from taking time out to take care of ourselves! In honor of mother's day, I want to thank moms everywhere for all they do that is repetitive, boring and receives no thank-you's! Remember, that to take care of others we need to take care of ourselves! What are you going to do today, to slow down, breathe deeply and relax? Put yourself and a fun activity that will charge your batteries on your calendar today!
For more tips on rejuvenating yourself in the middle of your busy schedule, join us Thursday, May 6 at 7 pm for a workshop that will help you live with a balanced lifestyle!
Be well!
Susan
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